Gerald R. Ford : It probably fell from an airplane and couldn’t stop its forward momentum.
RALPH NADER : Chickens are misled into believing there is a road by the evil tiremakers. Chickens aren’t ignorant, but our society pays tiremakers to create the need for these roads and then lures chickens into believing there is an advantage to crossing them. Down with the roads, up with chickens.
SECRETARY CHENEY : Chickens are big-time because they have wings. They could fly if they wanted to. Chickens don’t want to cross the road. They don’t need help crossing the road. In fact, I’m not interested in crossing the road myself.
SENATOR LIEBERMAN : I believe that every chicken has the right to worship their God in their own way. Crossing the road is a spiritual journey and no chicken should be denied the right to cross the road in their own way.
GOVERNOR GEORGE W. BUSH : I don’t believe we need to get the chickens across the road. I say give the road to the chickens and let them decide. The government needs to let go of strangling the chickens so they can get across the road.