DUI Humour

48. Funny Pick Up Lines

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Man charged with murder for DUI crash that killed woman and child

Jacob A. Caliboso, 21, of Oxnard
Ventura County Sheriff’s Office

OXNARD, Calif. – An Oxnard man accused of driving under the influence in a June 2020 crash that killed a woman and a 7-year-old girl now faces murder charges for their deaths.

Jacob Anthony Caliboso, 21, of Oxnard was charged with two counts of second-degree murder and two counts of gross vehicular manslaughter while intoxicated in the deaths of Elva Andrade and her granddaughter, Nevaeh.

The deadly crash happened on June 22, 2020 on Pleasant Valley Road. Caliboso is accused of crashing his car into a scooter that was being driven by Andrade with Nevaeh riding on the back.

Andrade was pronounced dead at the scene, and Nevaeh was transported to the hospital in critical condition. She later died from her injuries, the Ventura County District Attorney’s Office said.

Caliboso was arrested and later charged with suspicion of driving under the influence of drugs.

Now he faces additional charges in connection to the deaths of the woman and her young granddaughter.

Caliboso appeared in court on Tuesday and pleaded not guilty to the new charges. He is due back in court on Friday.

The DA’s office said Caliboso is currently out of custody on a $100,000 bond.

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New tech could help police combat drug-impaired driving

A handheld analyzer uses saliva to detect the presence of six kinds of drugs in five minutes

MADISON COUNTY, Ill. — Police across the country may soon have a fast and easy way to learn if someone is driving under the influence of drugs. The SoToxa Mobile Test System uses a saliva swab to detect the presence of six drugs (cocaine, meth, opiates, marijuana, amphetamine and benzodiazepines) within a few minutes, according to the Indiana Criminal Justice Institute (ICJI).

“It’s basically lab quality results in the palm of their hand in five minutes,” said Fred Delfino, a law enforcement liaison with SoToxa parent company Abbott, in an interview with KMOV.

Fred Delfino, a law enforcement liaison with Abbott Toxicology, exhibits the saliva collection device being used by Michigan police to conduct roadside tests for drugged driving.
Fred Delfino, a law enforcement liaison with Abbott Toxicology, exhibits the saliva collection device being used by Michigan police to conduct roadside tests for drugged driving. (Emily Lawler,

The technology is still relatively new. So far it has been used in a few states including Michigan, Indiana and Illinois. In Indiana, 52 law enforcement agencies were given a SoToxa device in December 2020, according to an ICJI press release.

Delfino says SoToxa tests for a simple positive or negative result. It can’t tell an officer how high the driver is. 

“Our marijuana is at 25 nano-grams, so that’s the level of threshold,” Delfino told KMOV. “There or above will test as a positive result, lower than that it will come back as a negative result.” 

This reality has drawn some worry. According to KMOV, there is concern because there is no scientific measure for determining how high someone is. 

Company representatives and law enforcement officials say SoToxa would be used as an additional tool, not as a replacement for current methods. 

“SoToxa is not a substitute for officer training or experience,” said Rob Duckworth, ICJI Traffic Safety Director, in a statement. “It’s an additional resource they can use to remove drugged and dangerous drivers from using the road. Undoubtedly, this technology will save lives.”

According to ICJI, the SoToxa test can be refused, and its results can only be used to further establish probable cause, not as evidence in court to determine if the driver was impaired.

DUI Humour

47. Funny Pick Up Lines

If looks could kill, you’d be a weapon of mass destruction.

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Springsteen pleads guilty to 1 count in NJ drunk driving case, other charges dropped

Bruce Springsteen appeared virtually in court Wednesday in connection with his drunk driving arrest in a federal park in New Jersey.

Springsteen faced three misdemeanors, including operating a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol, reckless driving, and consuming alcohol in a closed area.

He agreed to plead guilty to the charge of consuming alcohol at Gateway National Recreation Area, a federal property where alcohol is banned.

The government agreed to drop the other two charges.

“During the defendant’s field sobriety test, he declined to take a preliminary breath test but did submit to the breath test at the rangers station,” Assistant US Attorney Adam Baker said.

He noted that Springsteen blew a .02, well under the legal limit.

“Based specifically on the .02 blood alcohol content reading, the government moves to dismiss,” Baker said.

Springsteen admitted to consuming two “small shots of tequila,” and when asked if he knew it was illegal to drink there, he responded, “Yes I was.”

Judge Mautone noted that drinking in the park was actually legal until about three years ago. He was fined Springsteen $500 plus $40 in court fees.

“Mr. Springsteen I need to know how long you need to pay that fine,” Mautone deadpanned.

“I think I can pay that immediately, Your Honor,” Springsteen responded.

Nevertheless, he instructed Springsteen to pay by next Wednesday.

“Mr. Springsteen is pleased with the outcome of today’s court appearance,” Ansell said after the hearing. “The prosecutor was unable to provide the necessary evidence and facts as it related to the charge of Driving under the Influence (DUI) and Reckless Driving and therefore, dismissed both of those charges. Mr Springsteen, who has no previous criminal record of any kind, voluntarily plead guilty to a violation of consuming an alcoholic beverage in a closed area, agreeing to a fine of $500. We want to thank the Court and will have no further comment at this time.”

Springsteen has three driving violations dating back to 1973, including one for using a cell phone in the car.

“Rarely would you see a driver’s abstract so devoid of any entries as I see before me, Mr. Springsteen,” the judge noted

Under the initial charges, Springsteen faced $5,000 in fines and six months in prison.

The arresting officer wrote in the statement of probable cause that he saw Springsteen take a shot of tequila and then get on his motorcycle.

The officer wrote that the rocker “smelt strongly of alcohol” November 14, “had glassy eyes,” and that there was a bottle of Patron tequila that was “completely empty.”

The report described Springsteen as “visibly swaying back and forth” during a field sobriety test and said he declined to provide a sample on an initial breath test.

Springsteen “took 45 total steps during the walk and turn instead of the instructed 18,” the officer wrote.

Springsteen hasn’t commented publicly on the charges.

The recreational area is better known as Sandy Hook, the name of the narrow Atlantic Ocean peninsula on which it sits.

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Master Manipulator
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Retired MLB All-Star Johnny Damon Is Accused of DUI, and Wife Allegedly Pushed Cop During Stop

Orange County Department of Corrections Johnny Damon

Retired World Series-winning outfielder Johnny Damon is facing charges of driving under the influence and spent a night in jail after he and his wife were stopped early Friday morning by police in an upscale Orlando suburb.

Officers in Windermere, Florida, pulled over the vehicle with the couple inside about 1:30 a.m. after spotting the SUV swerving, according to a police report, reports the Orlando Sentinel.

PEOPLE has not independently obtained that report.

Police allege Damon, 47 — who played 18 seasons of Major League Baseball, twice winning the World Series as a member of both the 2004 Boston Red Sox and the 2009 New York Yankees — was slurring his speech, smelled of alcohol and unsteady on his feet when stopped.

He answered “just a little bit” when asked if he’d been consuming alcohol, indicating a small pinching motion with his left hand and fingers, the police report alleges.

Asked if he’d consent to a field sobriety test, Damon agreed, telling officers multiple times that he’d do so because he is “a big boy,” reports WESH.

Two readings on a breathalyzer test recorded Damon’s blood-alcohol content as 0.30 and 0.294, the police report notes — both well above the legal limit of less than 0.08.

In addition to the allegation of driving under the influence, Damon also was arrested on a charge of resisting an officer without violence.

“I’m always accountable for my actions and we’ll see what happens soon,” he said Friday afternoon as he left the Orange County jail, reports WKMG. “But, I will be honest with you and always be accountable and like I said I would never put myself, my loved ones or anybody in harm’s way getting behind the wheel of a vehicle. So, I apologize and hopefully, I can answer more questions later on.”

RELATED: Johnny Damon: I’m ‘Outnumbered’ By My Six Daughters

During the encounter with police, Damon’s wife Michelle Mangan-Damon allegedly became uncooperative, according to the police report, and at one point allegedly pushed an officer. She was charged with battery on a law enforcement officer and resisting arrest with violence.

Orange County Department of Corrections Michelle Mangan-Damon

Both initially were booked into the Orange County jail and each had been released by midday Friday, online jail records show. An attorney for the couple was not immediately identified.

Craig Sjodin/ABC

During his career, Damon, a two-time All-Star, played for the Kansas City Royals, Oakland Athletics, Detroit Tigers, Tampa Bay Rays and Cleveland Indians, in addition to his memorable runs with the Red Sox — whose worshipful fans, grateful that their team had finally broken a perceived World Series curse, vilified him after he signed with the rival Yankees — and the New York team. He was last on a major-league roster in 2012.

Off the field, Damon was a contestant on a 2015 season of The Celebrity Apprentice and a 2018 edition of Dancing With the Stars.

He is a native of the Orlando area, where he played high school baseball, and lives with his wife in Windermere.

DUI Humour

46. Funny Pick Up Lines

Is your name Wi-fi? Because I’m really feeling a connection.

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Breathalyze This! States with the Most DUIs (2021)

Drivers in these states are the most prone to getting behind the wheel while inebriated — and getting caught for it.

Americans may have spent more time at home than ever this past year, with traffic down overall in early 2020 as quarantine orders were set into motion for the first time. Yet, traffic fatalities actually rose over the past year, with a 13.1 percent spike from July through September, according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA). Not only that, but the NHTSA also reported that throughout 2020, 65 percent of drivers with severe crash injuries were found to have alcohol or drugs in their systems. Around half of these cases were reported from after the onset of the pandemic.

It’s clear that despite the fact we may be driving less, we have not eradicated the nationwide epidemic of drunk driving. As more Americans gain access to the vaccine and start venturing out more frequently again and likely resume drinking in public social settings after months of social isolation, we may see an uptick in reckless behavior on the roads, including instances of drinking and driving. To identify the DUI hotspots of America, the research team at Insurify turned to the data to determine the states with the highest rates of drunk driving.


National averages. The average state-wide share of drivers with a DUI on their record in the U.S. is 2.16 percent. In 2018, the percentage of traffic fatalities that were alcohol-impaired was 28 percent. While the severity of a DUI penalty varies state to state, on average, the minimum amount that offenders must pay is at least $500.

Old habits die hard. The ten states with the most DUIs in 2021 are consistent with Insurify’s ranking of the top ten states with the most DUIs in 2020. In fact, the states in the top four spots in the rankings last year held their titles for this year’s list, although this is by no means a celebratory distinction. 

Rural representation. The majority of the states with the most drunk drivers are located in the Midwest or Mountain Regions of the United States. Not only do these states tend to have more rural land and open roads, but another potential explanation for their high rates of drunk driving is the lesser availability of rideshare or other transportation alternatives after a night of drinking. In fact, it was not until 2017 that Lyft announced their expansion into previously unserviced rural areas in the continental United States where even Uber remained unavailable. Even with the expansion into these regions, frequent rideshare service tends to be hard to come by in communities with relatively few employed drivers. Irregular access to alternative ways to get home after drinking in these Midwestern and Mountain Region states may account for higher rates of drunk driving.


The data scientists at Insurify, an auto insurance comparison platform, referred to their database of nearly 4 million car insurance applications. Users submit their state of residence and driving history, including any violations on record, when applying for car insurance. For each state, the number of drivers with a DUI violation on record was measured against the total number of drivers. The states with the highest proportion of drivers who reported an alcohol-impaired infraction were identified as the states with the most DUIs.

Statistics regarding alcohol-impaired driving fatalities come from the National Highway Traffic Safety Association’s most recent reporting. The estimates for the penalty cost of a first-time DUI offense in each state were drawn from

US States with the Most DUIs (2021)

  1. North Dakota – Share of drivers with a DUI on record: 4.96%
  2. Wyoming – Share of drivers with a DUI on record: 4.68%
  3. South Dakota – Share of drivers with a DUI on record: 3.87%
  4. Wisconsin – Share of drivers with a DUI on record: 3.82%
  5. Minnesota – Share of drivers with a DUI on record: 3.79%
  6. Nebraska – Share of drivers with a DUI on record: 3.65%
  7. Montana – Share of drivers with a DUI on record: 3.54%
  8. Alaska – Share of drivers with a DUI on record: 3.50%
  9. Iowa – Share of drivers with a DUI on record: 3.44%
  10. Idaho – Share of drivers with a DUI on record: 3.41%

States with the Most DUIs

10. Idaho

  • Share of drivers with a DUI on record: 3.41%
  • Share of alcohol-impaired traffic fatalities (2018): 24%
  • Cost of first-offense DUI fine: up to $1,000

Idaho has the tenth-highest rate of drunk driving in the nation. Gem State drivers are caught behind the wheel while intoxicated 37 percent more often than the national average. While the percentage of alcohol-impaired traffic fatalities in Idaho is slightly lower than average, Idaho drivers should still exercise caution and avoid driving after drinking. Aside from the obvious dangers of doing so, drunk driving in Idaho can be costly, with penalties of up to $1,000 at just the first incident.

9. Iowa

  • Share of drivers with a DUI on record: 3.44%
  • Share of alcohol-impaired traffic fatalities (2018): 25%
  • Cost of first-offense DUI fine: $625-$1,200

Drivers in Iowa are getting caught for driving under the influence at a rate that’s 38 percent higher than the national average. Indeed, a quarter of traffic fatalities in the Hawkeye State have been directly caused by alcohol impairment. The state of Iowa does seem to recognize the severity of this issue and is trying to crack down on drunk driving, as the penalty for a first-offense DUI will cost you a pretty penny.

8. Alaska

  • Share of drivers with a DUI on record: 3.50%
  • Share of alcohol-impaired traffic fatalities (2018): 37%
  • Cost of first-offense DUI fine: $1,500 (minimum)

Alaska may be the Last Frontier in America, but when it comes to drunk driving, the state ranks close to first. Drivers in Alaska have a DUI rate that is 39 percent greater than the national average, landing it the eighth spot in the rankings of the most drunk driving-prone states. First-time violators of impaired driving laws in Alaska be warned; at $1,500 the minimum fine for a DUI violation is one of the highest in the nation.

7. Montana

  • Share of drivers with a DUI on record: 3.54%
  • Share of alcohol-impaired traffic fatalities (2018): 43%
  • Cost of first-offense DUI fine: $300-$1,000

Montana’s rate of drunk driving is nearly 40 percent higher than the national average, and seventh-highest in the nation. Drinking and driving in the Treasure State is not an issue to be swept under the rug: the proportion of traffic deaths due to alcohol impairment is 35 percent greater than the national average and accounts for close to half (43 percent) of all statewide traffic fatalities.

6. Nebraska

  • Share of drivers with a DUI on record: 3.65%
  • Share of alcohol-impaired traffic fatalities (2018): 29%
  • Cost of first-offense DUI fine: up to $500

DUI rates in Nebraska, the sixth state in the rankings, eclipse the national average by 41 percent. While the percentage of traffic deaths due to alcohol impairment is on par with the national average, rates of drunk driving still present a major problem in the Cornhusker State. Given the above-average prevalence of this dangerous and often fatal driving habit, it’s surprising that the state’s penalty for first-time DUI offenders is comparatively lower than the majority of the nation’s, with $500 as the maximum fine, not as the minimum as it is for most other states.

5. Minnesota

  • Share of drivers with a DUI on record: 3.79%
  • Share of alcohol-impaired traffic fatalities (2018): 28%
  • Cost of first-offense DUI fine: $1,000

Minnesota’s drunk driving rate exceeds the national average by 44 percent, earning it the fifth spot among the top ten states with the most DUIs. While its share of fatalities caused by drinking and driving is on par with the national average, drivers in the North Star state ought to be wary of getting behind the wheel after having a few too many: the minimum fine violators have to pay is on the higher end of the nationwide spectrum.

4. Wisconsin

  • Share of drivers with a DUI on record: 3.82%
  • Share of alcohol-impaired traffic fatalities (2018): 33%
  • Cost of first-offense DUI fine: $150-$300

In America’s Dairyland, milk isn’t the only beverage of choice. Wisconsin has maintained its status as the state with the fourth-highest DUI rate in the nation since last year. This year, its percentage of drivers with a prior DUI violation is 44 percent higher than the national average. For a state that has a higher rate of alcohol-impaired traffic deaths than the rest of the country, it’s shocking that the penalty for a first-time DUI offense is comparatively lower than most other states.

3. South Dakota

  • Share of drivers with a DUI on record: 3.87%
  • Share of alcohol-impaired traffic fatalities (2018): 33%
  • Cost of first-offense DUI fine: $1,000

South Dakota’s drunk driving rate is the third-highest in the nation for the second year in a row. Drivers in the Mount Rushmore State have broken impaired driving laws at a rate that’s nearly one and a half times the national average. Additionally, South Dakota’s share of traffic fatalities caused by alcohol impairment is 16 percent higher than the rest of the nation’s. However, penalty costs of a DUI offense in South Dakota are comparatively high, suggesting that on some level, the state takes these violations very seriously.

2. Wyoming

  • Share of drivers with a DUI on record: 4.68%
  • Share of alcohol-impaired traffic fatalities (2018): 32%
  • Cost of first-offense DUI fine: up to $750 

Wyoming is the least populous and least densely populated state in the nation, but unfortunately, that has not prevented drunk drivers in the Cowboy State from landing it second in the nation for  DUI rates. Consistent with its rank from last year’s list, DUIs in Wyoming occur 54 percent more frequently than the national average. While a first-offense DUI fine in Wyoming is not the highest in the nation, it’s by far not the cheapest, and can additionally result in a 90 day license suspension or even jail time.

1. North Dakota

  • Share of drivers with a DUI on record: 4.95%
  • Share of alcohol-impaired traffic fatalities (2018): 29%
  • Cost of first-offense DUI fine: $500-$750

Maintaining its position at number one for the second year in a row, North Dakota has the highest share of drunk drivers in the nation in 2021. With a DUI rate that’s a whopping 57 percent above the national average, the Peace Garden State doesn’t seem that serene after all — at least on the roads. Both the percentage of traffic deaths caused by alcohol impairment and the penalty fine for first-time DUI offenses are consistent with the national average. However, based on the share of North Dakotans receiving DUI citations each year, it’s clear that drivers in the state are drinking and driving at exceedingly dangerous levels.