Walks Into a Bar… Free Drinks

A man walks into a a bar, drinks a couple of beers, and prepares to leave. The bartender tells him he owes $8.”But I already paid you. Don’t you remember?” says the customer.”OK,” says the bartender, “if you say you paid, then I suppose you did.”The man goes outside and tells the first person he sees that the bartender can’t keep track of whether his customers have paid or not. The second man rushes in, orders a couple beers, and later pulls the same stunt.The barkeep replies, “OK, if you say you paid, then I suppose you did.”The customer goes outside and tells a friend how to get free drinks. The third man hurries into the bar and begins to drink highballs.The bartender leans over and says, “You know, a funny thing happened tonight. Two men were drinking beer, neither paid, and both claimed they had. The next guy who tries that stunt is going to get punched in the — “The man interrupts, “Don’t bother me with your troubles, bartender. Just give me my change and I’ll be on my way.”

Source: Funny Jokes | Walks Into a Bar… Free Drinks Joke | Comedy Central

Distiller disputes argument that ‘nips’ are behind increase in drunken driving

Drunken-driving convictions are on the rise in Maine at the same time sales of miniature liquor bottles are skyrocketing, but the LePage administration and a major distiller disagree about whether the so-called nips are responsible for the increase in OUIs.The issue is central to a debate about banning the sale of nips in Maine, which could affect jobs at a Lewiston bottling plant and cost the state tens of millions of dollars in revenue in years to come.A ban on the sale of 50-milliliter liquor bottles in Maine could affect jobs at a Lewiston bottling plant and cost the state tens of millions of dollars in revenue in years to come. Staff photo by Michele McDonaldRELATED HEADLINESGov. LePage forges ahead with bid to stop lucrative sales of ‘nips’ liquor bottlesLewiston liquor bottler says ending nips sales would have ‘drastic impact’ on companyAfter a few misses, LePage nails argument against nips Search photos available for purchase: Photo Store →Lawmakers last month overrode the governor’s veto of a bill that requires retailers to collect a 5-cent deposit on every 50-milliliter bottle beginning in 2019. Supporters argued that adding nips to Maine’s “bottle bill” would help reduce roadside litter.LePage originally opposed the bill because he said it would hurt businesses and state finances, and he now argues it does not do enough to discourage drivers from drinking behind the wheel. He has asked the state Bureau of Alcoholic Beverages and Lottery Operations to formally begin the process of “delisting,” or removing, nips in Maine.In June, the bureau’s director filed a recommendation in support of delisting with the State Liquor and Lottery Commission, drawing a connection between the small liquor bottles and drunken driving. The number of convictions for operating under the influence decreased 38 percent from 2006 to 2014, but convictions have risen in the past two years, according to the state. At the same time, sales of nips have been growing by as much as 40 percent annually.That combination of trends, along with complaints about empty bottles on roadsides, proves nips are enabling people to drink and drive, the administration says.Sazerac Co., which makes Fireball Cinnamon Whisky, operates a bottling and finishing plant in Lewiston. In a July 3 filing with the liquor commission, an attorney for Sazerac said more evidence is needed to link nips and drinking behind the wheel.“The (beverages and lottery) bureau’s rush to judgment tells us nothing about whether there is a correlation between the sale of (50-milliliter) spirits and the increase in OUI convictions, and its failure to procure any support for its conclusion from law enforcement is telling,” the filing reads.SEEKING CORRELATION IN NUMBERSNips sales in Maine topped 8 million bottles in 2016. The most popular brand was Fireball, which represented more than 40 percent of all nips sales in Maine in the last fiscal year. Nips account for only 6.6 percent of the beverages and lottery bureau’s profits from spirits in the past year, but sales of the 50-milliliter bottlers are growing at a faster pace than any other liquor product.However, legislators said complaints about the number of small liquor bottles along roadsides led to the passage of L.D. 56, which established the nickel deposit.In his veto letter, LePage said the bill does not address the issue of people drinking nips while driving and then tossing them out the car window.“Absent increased penalties, which this bill failed to impose, an alternative approach is to discontinue the sale of (50-milliliter) bottles containing alcohol altogether,” LePage wrote. “If this bill passes, I have directed the Bureau of Alcoholic Beverages and Lottery Operations to work with the Liquor and Lottery Commission to delist these products for sale in Maine.”Gregory Mineo, the bureau’s director, filed his recommendation to that effect with the commission June 23.Mineo said convictions for liquor OUIs had been declining annually – from 5,548 convictions in 2006 to 3,462 in 2014. However, those numbers have trended upward since then. There were 3,539 convictions in 2015 and 3,735 in 2016 – roughly an 8 percent increase over two years.At the same time, nips sales have been rising steadily. In 2007, the number of 50-milliliter bottles sold statewide was 511,331. In 2014, the year before liquor OUI convictions began to increase again, 3.5 million nips were sold. That number grew to 5.5 million in 2015 and 8.4 million in 2016, representing a 142 percent jump over two years. This year, sales are expected to reach 12 million.Advertisement“It is self-evident that discarded containers along roadsides come from occupants of vehicles,” Mineo

Source: Distiller disputes LePage’s argument that ‘nips’ are behind increase in drunken driving – Portland Press Herald

Nevada launches sales of legal recreational marijuana

 Nevada dispensaries were legally allowed to sell recreational marijuana starting at 12:01 a.m. Saturday.LAS VEGAS (AP) — Nevada became the fifth state in the U.S. with stores selling marijuana for recreational purposes, opening a market early Saturday that is eventually expected to outpace any other in the nation thanks to the millions of tourists who flock to Las Vegas.People began purchasing marijuana shortly after midnight, just months after voters approved legalization in November and marking the fastest turnaround from the ballot box to retail sales in the country.Hundreds of people lined up at Essence Cannabis Dispensary on the Las Vegas Strip. People were excited and well-behaved as a lone security guard looked on. A valet was available to park the cars of customers.A cheer erupted when the doors opened.Those 21 and older with a valid ID can buy up to an ounce of pot. Tourists are expected to make nearly two of every three recreational pot purchases in Nevada, but people can only use the drug in a private home.It remains illegal to light up in public areas, including the Las Vegas Strip, casinos, bars, restaurants, parks, convention centers and concert halls — places frequently visited by tourists. Violators face a $600 fine.And driving under the influence of marijuana is still illegal.Despite the limits on where people can get high and restrictions on where the industry can advertise, dispensaries worked furiously to prepare for the launch. They stamped labels on pot products, stocked up their shelves, added security and checkout stations, and announced specials.Desert Grown Farms hired about 60 additional employees. Workers in scrubs, hair nets and surgical masks slapped stickers on sealed jars this week as others checked on marijuana plants or carefully weighed buds.“It would be a good problem to have if I couldn’t meet my demand,” said CEO Armen Yemenidjian, whose Desert Grown Farms owns the only dispensary that is selling recreational pot on the Las Vegas Strip, across the street from the Stratosphere hotel.Some dispensaries took to social media to spread the word or tried to draw in buyers with special events. Some planned to give away free marijuana to their first 100 customers or throw parties with barbecues and food trucks later in the afternoon.Some facilities are in strip malls, while others, in stereotypical Las Vegas fashion, are in neighborhoods shared by strip clubs.Nevada joins Colorado, Oregon, Washington and Alaska in allowing adults to buy the drug that’s still banned by the federal government.

Source: Nevada launches sales of legal recreational marijuana | TahoeDailyTribune.com

How Do You Find Out BAC Before Arraignment?

My daughter got a DUI . She had nothing to eat and worked 2 8 hour shifts, She had a Drink 4 hours before she was stopped. Is there a way we can find out her blood alcohol level before her arraignment?

If she took a blood test, she can have the second sample retested. Otherwise neither she  or the prosecution may  know the result before the arraignment. This is a preliminary stage to advise her of the charges and her rights. It is usually best to consult with an attorney before.

Walks Into a Bar… Pissing Contest

Two men walk into a bar, one wearing a cowboy hat and the other wearing a Yankees cap. The guy in the Yankees cap approaches the bartender and make a bet: “I’ll bet you $1,000 that I can put a shot glass at one end of your bar and piss into it from the other end of the bar without spilling a drop.”The bartender laughs and says, “You’re crazy, but you’re on.”The man positions a shot glass on one end, walks to the other end and unzips his fly. He then pisses everywhere — all over the walls, over the bar top, all over the bottles of booze, and all over the bartender. The bartender roars with laughter and tells the man to pay up.The guy in the Yankees cap pays up, laughing and smiling, too.”What are you smiling at?” asks the bartender. “You just lost $1,000!””Well, you see that guy in the cowboy hat over there crying? Before we came in, I bet him $10,000 that I could piss all over your bar, your walls, your liquor AND you, and not only would you not be mad — you would laugh hysterically about it!”

Source: Funny Jokes | Walks Into a Bar… Pissing Contest Joke | Comedy Central

MTV condemns Teen Mom star Ryan Edwards after scene of him driving under the influence

When viewers tuned in on Monday, they witnessed Edwards at the steering wheel with fiancée Mackenzie Standifer in the passenger seat on the way to their elopement. But instead of seeing the happy couple beaming with joy en route to their nuptials, audiences watched Standifer question his sobriety.

Following an outpour of criticism on social media questioning MTV about why it did not intervene, the network has issued a statement.

“MTV does not condone driving under the influence,” an MTV spokesperson said in a statement obtained by PEOPLE. “Ryan’s erratic behavior was due to actions that he took without anyone’s prior knowledge.”

On Monday’s episode, as Edwards was behind the wheel, Standifer looked visibly worried and tight-lipped. Keeping on eye on him, she had to tap him several times to get him to focus on the road; his eyes visibly looked dazed and slightly shut. At one point, she took the wheel in her hand from the passenger seat to straighten their car on the road.

MTV

Turning toward the cameras placed inside the vehicle, she began to shut them off. Although the cameras were turned off, the audio continued to roll and caught what she asked her soon-to-be husband.

“Did you take Xanax again?” she was heard asking.

“Um, I don’t … I don’t have any,” he responded with a mumble.

“You did,” she stated.

“I put that on my kid’s life,” he answered, denying he took any form of drugs or medication. (Edwards shares 7-year-old son Bentley with Teen Mom OG star Maci Bookout.)

While watching the episode, one Twitter user wrote, “@MTV you guys need to hold ryan edwards responsible for driving while intoxicated. @TeenMomog.”

“WHEN RYAN EDWARDS FROM TEEN MOM KILLS A FAMILY WHILE MTV KNOWINGLY LETS HIM DRIVE INTOXICATED ON DRUGS WHILE THEY FILM IT, THEY WONT CARE,” another Twitter user tweeted.

MTV condemns ‘Teen Mom’ star after scene of him driving under the influence

Stephanie Davis has been arrested

Stephanie DavisThe alleged argument comes just a week after the 28-year-old Irish hunk – who spent six weeks in rehab earlier this year – fell off the wagon again and was seen sleeping rough on a park bench following a boozy night out in London.

A source said at the time: “Jeremy was in high spirits when he arrived and started drinking. He didn’t seem to care who saw him and knocked back a lot of booze.

“He was pretty worse for wear by the end of the night.

“It’s sad really because most of the people around knew he was clean and had been trying to stay sober. But it seemed nothing would stop him having a few drinks.”

His relapse at the end of last month came shortly after he had a blazing row with the former ‘Hollyoaks’ star at her home in Liverpool but admitted recently that it was his fault because he can’t control his drink and is terrified of losing the brunette beauty.

He said: “It was totally my fault and there are no excuses for what I did. I relapsed. When I pick up a drink or put up a tweet it’s self-sabotage, it’s self-harming.

“When I sense fear I tend to strike out instead of being able to deal with things.

“I’m very insecure. I’m scared of people leaving me. If I felt like Steph was going to leave me I would do something out of anger, like in the past. There’s no excuse, but a lot of my behaviour is irrational and I am working hard to change that.”

The ‘Beauty School Cop Out’ star’s friends and management are now desperately trying to get him to return to rehab in order to beat his demons once and for all.

Stephanie and Jeremy met last January while taking part in ‘Celebrity Big Brother’ but their controversial relationship came crashing down just weeks after they left the abode when they locked horns and had a scrap during a holiday away.

The pretty star then found out she was pregnant with her now five-month-old son Caben-Albi but Jeremy refused to believe he belonged to him until he was born.

After a paternity test confirmed he was the little one’s biological father, the pair decided to give things another go for the sake of their child.

The 24-year-old actress has reportedly been detained by police on suspicion of Grievously Bodily Harm (GBH) after she allegedly attacked her on-off boyfriend Jeremy McConnell during a late night spat at a hotel, according to the Mirror Online.

http://www.msn.com/en-ie/entertainment/celebrity/stephanie-davis-has-been-arrested/ar-BBDEjRN?li=BBr5KbJ

Walks Into a Bar… Free Drinks

A man walks into a a bar, drinks a couple of beers, and prepares to leave. The bartender tells him he owes $8.”But I already paid you. Don’t you remember?” says the customer.”OK,” says the bartender, “if you say you paid, then I suppose you did.”The man goes outside and tells the first person he sees that the bartender can’t keep track of whether his customers have paid or not. The second man rushes in, orders a couple beers, and later pulls the same stunt.The barkeep replies, “OK, if you say you paid, then I suppose you did.”The customer goes outside and tells a friend how to get free drinks. The third man hurries into the bar and begins to drink highballs.The bartender leans over and says, “You know, a funny thing happened tonight. Two men were drinking beer, neither paid, and both claimed they had. The next guy who tries that stunt is going to get punched in the — “The man interrupts, “Don’t bother me with your troubles, bartender. Just give me my change and I’ll be on my way.”

Source: Funny Jokes | Walks Into a Bar… Free Drinks Joke | Comedy Central