Cross Examination of the Arresting Officer

by Jessica Towne

This is my friend. I like this Cop.
I meet him at the Donut Shop.
I cannot make him look too bad;
I must not, must not make him MAD.
I must not make him mad you see,
We’re working out an arson plea;
It will not help me anyway;
He ALWAYS knows just what to say.

The Prosecutor smirks at me,
“Your gal was DRUNK, you must agree;
“Her guilt is clear. Why look in Books?
“Facts are facts, and
CROOKS are CROOKS!”

Our carefully constructed questions
Are interrupted by objections;
To keep the D.A. in his place,
Show the Judge the perfect case,
And he will overrule with HASTE
And put that scoundrel in his place:
“Sit down! Sit down!
You let her be!”
“She is so very SMART, you see!”

We see them come.
We see them go.
Some are fast.
And some are slow.
Not one of them is like another.
Don’t ask us why.
Go ask your mother.

The cross is now over, this battle is won.
The client is grinning, the D.A. is glum.
The judge is impressed with my style and my knowledge.
(I did graduate from a four-year state college.)

The jurors are beaming, they bought what I said.
The officer’s sitting there, scratching his head.
Now on to the demo, and remember, it’s true:
Do as I say, and
NOT
as
I
do!

Adrien Broner arrested on warrant after being stopped in shot-up SUV

Adrien Broner arrested on warrant after being stopped in shot-up SUV: Adrien Broner is back in trouble with the law after being stopped in a bullet-ridden SUV. (Getty) More Adrien Broner can’t seem to put one foot in front of the other. Early Thursday morning, the former four-division world champion was arrested and booked into the Kenton County Detention Center in Covington, Kentucky, just two miles from Broner’s hometown of Cincinnati, for having an open warrant.

Source: Adrien Broner arrested on warrant after being stopped in shot-up SUV

The Little Vagabond

Dear Mother, dear Mother, the Church is cold,
But the Ale-house is healthy & pleasant & warm;
Besides I can tell where I am use’d well,
Such usage in heaven will never do well.

But if at the Church they would give us some Ale.
And a pleasant fire, our souls to regale;
We’d sing and we’d pray, all the live-long day;
Nor ever once wish from the Church to stray,

Then the Parson might preach & drink & sing
. And we’d be as happy as birds in the spring:
And modest dame Lurch, who is always at Church,
Would not have bandy children nor fasting nor birch.

And God like a father rejoicing to see,
His children as pleasant and happy as he:
Would have no more quarrel with the Devil or the Barrel
But kiss him & give him both drink and apparel.

Blake, William

Intoxalock calls for strengthening DUI enforcement efforts after gubernatorial signing of Senate File 444

Intoxalock calls for strengthening DUI enforcement efforts after gubernatorial signing of Senate File 444 PR NewswireApril 18, 2017DES MOINES, Iowa, April 18, 2017 /PRNewswire/ — Governor Branstad recently signed into law Senate File 444 allowing repeat impaired-driving offenders to participate in a 24/7 Sobriety Program. Intoxalock, a leader in alcohol monitoring and DUI prevention methods, supports this law and strongly encourages additional legislative action to further strengthen Iowa’s DUI statute.View photosIn the Iowa Statewide Impaired Driving Plan, the Governor’s Task Force recommended additional monitoring of DUI offenders that use an interlock device, or in-car breathalyzer.More”While the new law is a good first step, we urge the legislature to implement additional measures to improve traffic safety,” said Kimberly Williams, CEO of Intoxalock.  “We agree with the findings of The Governor’s Task Force, which recommended additional, more effective methods to prevent impaired driving.”In the Iowa Statewide Impaired Driving Plan, the Governor’s Task Force recommended additional monitoring of DUI offenders that use an interlock device, or in-car breathalyzer. Specifically, repeated attempts to drive while under the influence would result in an extension of the required time that a driver must continue using an interlock device. The monitoring of failed attempts to start a car and then extending interlock device installation time periods are considered best practices that are used in many states. “Iowa is clearly moving in the right direction,” said Williams. “Implementing the additional recommendations of the Governor’s Task Force would place Iowa among those states with best-in-class DUI safety legislation.””Implementing strong DUI laws is only one part of the equation to keep roads safe,” Williams explained, “Our law enforcement agencies need the resources to implement those laws. Even within Iowa, the differences between DUI enforcement by county is alarming. For example, after adjusting for population, Dallas County makes 45 percent fewer OWI arrests than Polk County. As in other states, we encourage the Iowa legislature to increase the funding to implement stronger DUI enforcement efforts and thereby improve the safety of all drivers.”Currently, the recent analysis of Iowa Judicial Branch data, conducted by the Des Moines Register, shows nearly 20 percent of Iowa DUI offenders, more than 23,400, were charged more than once with intoxicated driving during a12-year period. The Register’s analysis also found that Iowa’s sentencing laws for drivers repeatedly caught driving under the influence are more lenient than in many other states.About IntoxalockHeadquartered in Des Moines, Iowa, Intoxalock (http://www.Intoxalock.com) developed its state-of-the-art ignition interlock device in conjunction with researchers from Iowa State University. Recently celebrating their 23rd anniversary in the alcohol monitoring business, Intoxalock currently services clients that are legally required to install an IID or home alcohol-monitoring unit in 39 states across the nation, in addition to voluntary clients in all other states. In the last 10 years, the ignition interlock industry has grown three-fold and is expected to continue as drunk driving legislation strengthens.To access additional Intoxalock news releases, photography, infographics and other resources, please visit our Media Room at https://www.intoxalock.com/media.

Source: Intoxalock calls for strengthening DUI enforcement efforts after gubernatorial signing of Senate File 444

This is what you call a vested interest.

N.M. State Police: Colorado man arrested in 11th DWI – Local News – Santa Fe New Mexican

N.M. State Police: Colorado man arrested in 11th DWI: A Colorado man arrested by New Mexico State Police late last week is behind bars on his 11th DWI charge, according to a news release and court records.A state police officer pulled over Terry Huff, 56, of Greeley, Colo., on Friday night near Pecos after emergency dispatchers received reports of an erratic driver. A statement of probable cause the officer filed in the San Miguel County Magistrate Court says Huff’s 4-year-old son was with him in the black Nissan SUV.According to a breath test, Huff had a blood-alcohol content of 0.24, three times the legal limit of 0.08, when a driver is presumed too drunk to drive.An officer found an unopened bottle of Importers vodka in Huff’s vehicle, the court document says.Emergency dispatchers told the state police officer that Huff had 10 prior DWI arrests, according to the court document. It’s not immediately clear where those prior arrests took place, but statewide court records don’t show any prior convictions for Huff in New Mexico.A family friend who lives in the area took custody of Huff’s child, the officer’s statement says, adding that the child’s mother told police she was in Denver getting treatment for cancer.Huff is charged with DWI, child abandonment and reckless driving, according to court records. He is being held in the San Miguel County jail in lieu of a $15,000 cash-only bond.

Source: N.M. State Police: Colorado man arrested in 11th DWI – Local News – Santa Fe New Mexican

Taiwan’s Tai beats Marin to win Singapore Open

Taiwan’s Tai beats Marin to win Singapore Open AFPApril 15, 2017 Tai Tzu-Ying of Taiwan during her Singapore Open Final match against Carolina Marin, which she won in two quick clinical sets on April 16, 2017 (AFP Photo/Roslan RAHMAN) More Singapore (AFP) – Tai Tzu Ying cemented her status as the world’s top female shuttler as she beat reigning Olympic champion and world number two Carolina Marin in straight games at the Singapore Open on Sunday. World number one Tai took just 38 minutes toseal a clinical 21-15, 21-15 victory at the Singapore Indoor Stadium.

Source: Taiwan’s Tai beats Marin to win Singapore Open

 

When you search, you often get strange results.

‘Work Out’ Alum Jackie Warner Pleads Not Guilty in Assault, DUI Case

‘Work Out’ Alum Jackie Warner Pleads Not Guilty in Assault, DUI Case: ‘Work Out’ Alum Jackie Warner Pleads Not Guilty in Assault, DUI Case More Celebrity fitness expert Jackie Warner pleaded not guilty to DUI and assault charges on Wednesday, the Los Angeles County District Attorney’s Office said. Warner, the former star of Bravo’s “Work Out,” has been charged with one felony count of assault upon a peace officer and one misdemeanor count each of driving under the influence.

Source: ‘Work Out’ Alum Jackie Warner Pleads Not Guilty in Assault, DUI Case