A guy walks into a bar with his pet dog. The bartender says, “No pets allowed.”The man replies, “This is a special dog. Turn on the Jets game and you’ll see. Whenever the Jets score, my dog does flips.”The Jets keep scoring field goals, and the dog keeps flipping and jumping.”Wow! What happens when the Jets score a touchdown?”The man replies, “I don’t know. I’ve only had him for 7 years.”
Wei Yang Li, 69, was charged Aug. 1 with domestic battery and aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.
Brigit C. Cahill, 21, of the 700 block of Eton Court, Libertyville, was charged July 31 with domestic battery
Abishek Das, 20, of the 1000 block of Lilac Court, Libertyville, was charged Aug. 3 with unlawful possession of a controlled substance, unlawful possession of marijuana, and unlawful possession of drug paraphernalia. According to police reports, while clearing a burglar alarm at a restaurant in the 2000 block of Shell Drive, officers noticed Das in a nearby vehicle that was activated but in park. Upon approaching him, police say they noticed a strong odor of marijuana and chose to search his vehicle, finding marijuana, LSD and accompanying paraphernalia.
Jessica Nicole Orozco, 23, of the 1800 block of Watercolor Place, Grayslake, was charged July 26 with driving under the influence of alcohol. According to police reports, officers at 5:25 a.m. saw Orozco driving outside her lane of traffic near Milwaukee Avenue and Peterson Road and later determined she was impaired. Orozco was scheduled in court Aug. 11.
Maura M. Kennedy, 50, of the 100 block of Homewood Avenue, Libertyville, was charged July 22 with driving under the influence of alcohol. According to police reports, Kennedy sideswiped a car in a parking lot in the 200 block of South Milwaukee Avenue and gave her home address to the victim, who then relayed it to responding officers. Police say they went to Kennedy’s home and found her damaged car and observed signs of impairment while talking to Kennedy. Police say she later failed field sobriety tests. Kennedy was scheduled in court Aug. 11.
Authorities from the Monongalia County Sheriff’s Department arrested West Virginia Mountaineers wide receiver Marcus Simms for allegedly driving under the influence Sunday morning, the Daily Athenaeum’s John Lowe and Chris Jackson reported.Simms was also driving with a revoked license.Officers had pulled Simms over for a broken taillight and arrested him after he failed sobriety tests. The Twitter account WV Jails shared his mugshot following his arrest:Simms is entering his sophomore year with the Mountaineers. He saw limited time in nine games as a freshman in 2016. He caught six passes for 95 yards and a touchdown.Simms’ best game came in West Virginia’s 49-19 victory over the Iowa State Cyclones. He had three receptions for 76 yards and scored in the second quarter to give the Mountaineers a 21-13 lead.
A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he’ll give him a free beer for an amazing trick. The bartender agrees. The guy pulls out a hamster that begins dancing and singing.”That is amazing!” says the bartender and gives him a beer.”If I show you something else, will you give me another beer?” The bartender agrees.The guy pulls out a small piano and a frog. The same hamster plays the piano while the frog dances and sings.The bartender, completely wowed, gives him another beer.A man in a suit, who’s been watching the entire time, offers to buy the frog for a large sum, and the man agrees.”Are you nuts?” asks the bartender. “You could’ve made a fortune off that frog.””Can you keep a secret?” asks the man. “The hamster’s a ventriloquist.”
rA 72-year-old woman pleaded guilty to vehicular manslaughter Thursday in connection with a drunk driving crash that killed the toddler son of a mixed martial arts fighter, officials said.Donna Marie Higgins was immediately sentenced to six years in prison for smashing her car into the stroller of 15-month-old Liam Mikael Kowal in Hawthorne last year, according to Ricardo Santiago, a spokesman for the Los Angeles County district attorney’s office.FROM OUR PARTNERS:Trump on Charlottesville: ‘We have to heal the wounds of our country’Ad AdvertisementThe boy’s father, Swedish-born fighter Marcus Kowal, was in the courtroom for the sentencing, according to his Facebook page.“Welcome to the karma cafe. There are no menus. You will get served what you deserve,” read a picture Kowal posted Thursday morning, announcing his arrival at the Airport Courthouse.Paid Post WHAT’S THIS? eBook The importance of reporting for General CounselA Message from effactsThe transition from a reactive to proactive role with insightful reports for contracts, claims, entities and more.See More Marcus Kowal speaks to the media during a prior court hearing (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times)Higgins was arrested Sept. 3, 2016, after police said she slammed her car into Liam’s stroller, which was being pushed in a crosswalk by his 15-year-old aunt, near Hawthorne Boulevard and 133rd Street.The boy did not have a pulse when police found him in his stroller at the crash scene. Liam’s aunt was also injured, police said.The Kowal family decided to take the boy off life support the next day.“About an hour ago, our baby was declared brain dead,” Kowal wrote on Facebook at the time. “He tried to fight so hard. He even died at one point but they brought him back. He’s a little fighter. His heart is still beating but his brain is no longer working.”Higgins was initially booked on suspicion of felony hit-and-run and drunk driving charges, but prosecutors moved to charge her with vehicular manslaughter after the boy died.A longtime resident of Hawthorne, Higgins was driving to a local store on the day of the crash and has expressed extreme sorrow over the child’s death, according to her attorney, Richard A. Hutton.“What happened was a terrible accident,” he said. “She’s deeply remorseful, has taken full responsibility for her actions and is very sorry for the grief she caused everybody, in particular the parents.”Kowal has become active in campaigns against drunk driving since the fatal wreck, circulating a petition calling on legislators to toughen legal-limit laws that generally allow people to drive with a blood-alcohol content of less than .08%.“I’m glad we get the chance to speak to her directly and that she will be off the streets and behind bars. However, she’s so insignificant in the fight ahead that it’s just a small battle along the way,” Kowal wrote in a Wednesday post ahead of the hearing. “We won’t stop until there’s been significant change made in this country and around the world, so that others don’t have to lose their mothers, or fathers, or brothers, or sisters or especially, children.”
A committee convened by the Maine Department of Public Safety says it doesn’t believe that Maine needs to set a limit for determining whether a motorist is impaired by marijuana. The recommendation is likely to stir debate among law enforcement officials and legislators as implementation of the voter-approved recreational marijuana law plods forward.Committee chair Scot Maddox said the state need not alter its operating under the influence law or create new blood-level limits for THC, the psychoactive component in marijuana. Instead, he said lawmakers should provide additional funding to train police officers, prosecutors and even judges to recognize marijuana impairment and its dangers while driving. He said there should also be a robust public education campaign.Sen. Mark Dion, a Portland Democrat and former police officer, said he’s surprised by the recommendation, as blood level tests for alcohol play a key role in OUI arrests and convictions.“If you blow a 1.5 on the breath test, it kind of validates the officer’s conclusions that you’re impaired, and there’s a lot of weight placed on that breath test. If someone is arrested for cannabis influence impairment, all we have is the confirmation that cannabis is present. And it doesn’t necessarily validate the observations of the officer,” he said.But Maddox, speaking before the Legislature’s Marijuana Legalization Implementation Committee, said Maine’s current impairment law is sufficient — at least for now.“The basis of under the influence is irrelevant as far as the law is concerned. Whether you’re impaired because you’re drinking alcohol or whether you’re impaired because you’re taking prescription medications, or you’re impaired because you’re smoking marijuana, the difference is none, as far as the law is concerned,” Maddox said.He said that officers trained to identify marijuana impairment can still make an arrest and use a blood test to bolster their case for a conviction.Last year a bill that would have set a THC limit failed in the Legislature because there was disagreement over what would be an appropriate limit to determine impairment.The issue has dogged the more than two dozen states that have legalized marijuana for recreational or medicinal purposes — or in Maine’s case, both. According to the National Conference of State Legislatures, nearly 20 states have set limits on THC in the bloodstream while operating a vehicle.A number of studies have found that marijuana degrades a person’s ability to drive, but research on whether it causes accidents has been mixed. The same goes for studies determining the appropriate level of THC to determine driving impairment, in part because THC has been found to affect people differently.
Hello I plead guilty to a DWAI and refused a roadside test. I wanted to know if I am able to get a probabtionary license as my job is far away and I wouldn’t want to take a bus for 3 hours.
It is not possible to advise you about your license based on this limited information. If you call 303-205-5600, DVM will let you know what you need to do to get a license.
A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar and turns to the astonished patrons.”I’ll make you a deal. I’ll open this alligator’s mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He’ll then open his mouth, and I’ll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.”The crowd murmurs their approval. The man stands up on the bar, drops his trousers, and places his privates in the alligator’s open mouth. The gator closes his mouth as the crowd gasps. After a minute, the man grabs a beer bottle and raps the alligator hard on the top its head. The gator opens his mouth, and the man removes his genitals, unscathed, as promised. The crowd cheers, and he receives the first of his free drinks.The man stands up again and makes another offer: “I’ll pay anyone $100 who’s willing to give it a try.”A hush falls over the crowd. A moment later, a hand goes up in the back of the bar.”I’ll try,” says a small woman, “but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle.”