Car slams into rehab center; 2 injured

MERRITT ISLAND, Fla. (WOFL FOX 35) – Two people are recovering after a vehicle slammed into a rehab center in Merritt Island.The crash happened around 9:30 a.m. at the Island Health and Rehabilitation Center on Alma Avenue. Florida Highway Patrol says the driver passed out while driving, crashed through a fence, drove through a grassy area, and then crashed into the rehab center.The vehicle crashed through the back of the building into a room where someone was sleeping. In the pictures above you can see the vehicle is fully inside the rehab center.Officials tell FOX 35 there were approximately 120 patients inside the building at the time of the crash.Brevard County Fire Rescue transported two patients, the driver and person sleeping, with only minor injuries.Troopers suspected that the driver was impaired by drugs. A blood sample was taken and charges are pending until those results are confirmed, according to FHP.The crash remains under investigation.

Source: Car slams into rehab center; 2 injured – Story | WOFL

WALKS INTO A BAR… THREE TESTS

A new guy in town walks into a bar and notices a large jar filled to the brim with $10 bills. The man approaches the bartender and asks, “What’s up with the jar?”

“Well, you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, then you get all the money.”

“What are the three tests?” asks the man

“Gotta pay first.”

So the guy gives him the $10 bucks, and the bartender adds it to the jar.

“OK, here’s what you have to do. First, you have to drink that whole bottle of pepper tequila — the WHOLE thing at once — and you can’t make a face while doing it. Second, there’s a pit bull chained up out back with a sore tooth. You have to remove the tooth with your bare hands. Third, there is a 90-year-old woman upstairs who’s never had an orgasm in her life. You gotta make things right for her.”

“Well, I know I’ve paid my $10 bucks,” says the man, “but I’m not an idiot. No wonder you’ve collected so much money — that’s impossible!”

The new guy proceeds to drink several whiskeys, and eventually, he gets up his nerve.

“Wherez zat teeqeelah?” he slurs.

He grabs the bottle of pepper tequila with both hands and downs it, gulp by gulp. Tears are streaming down his cheeks, but he doesn’t make a face. Next, he staggers out back. Everyone in the bar hears a huge scuffle outside — barking, yelping and growling, then silence.

Just when they think the man must be dead, he staggers back into the bar with his shirt ripped and gashes across his body.

“NOW,” he says, “wherez at ol’ lady with the sore tooth?”

http://jokes.cc.com/funny-walks-into-a-bar/6twsm2/walks-into-a-bar—-three-tests

Framingham Police charge man with driving while high

FRAMINGHAM – A New York man was originally only supposed to sleep in his friend’s Cadillac.But, authorities said Emanuel Ramsey, 23, took the car for a joyride on Thursday, driving around for more than an hour on the rim after shredding the tire before police finally arrested him on Beacon Street at 8:30 a.m.Police learned of the Cadillac at 6:45 a.m., when a caller reported a car driving erratically on Concord Street near Rte. 9, police spokeswoman Lt. Patricia Grigas said.The Cadillac was gone by the time police arrived.About a half hour later, an officer on a detail saw the Cadillac driving toward him on Franklin Street near Mount Wayte Avenue.“The officer tried to stop him, but (the driver) kept going,” Grigas said.Around 8:15 a.m., officers found the car in a parking lot on Beacon Street and spoke to Ramsey.“Officers realized he was impaired, significantly impaired,” said Grigas. “He admitted to smoking marijuana.”Police contacted the owner of the car. She said she was friends with Ramsey. Ramsey asked her for a place to stay and she let him sleep in her car while she worked at a gas station, Grigas said. Ramsey did not have permission to drive the car.Police arrested Ramsey, of 570 Fox St., The Bronx, and charged him with driving under the influence of drugs, using a vehicle without authority, driving to endanger, failing to stop for police and driving with a suspended license.Ramsey is scheduled to be arraigned in Framingham District Court on Friday.

Source: Framingham Police charge man with driving while high

Vidor man arrested in fatal boating accident which killed 8-year-old boy

Eddie L. Dunwoody, 35, of Vidor is accused operating (driving) a vessel while intoxicated (DWI) with child endangerment, vehicular homicide, vehicular negligent injury, reckless operation of a watercraft, and violating a no wake zone, according to the Louisiana Department of Wildlife and Fisheries.AAVIDOR — A 35-year-old Vidor man has been arrested and faces multiple charges related to a fatal boating crash in Louisiana, which killed an 8-year-old boy.Eddie L. Dunwoody, 35, of Vidor is accused operating (driving) a vessel while intoxicated (DWI) with child endangerment, vehicular homicide, vehicular negligent injury, reckless operation of a watercraft, and violating a no wake zone, according to the Louisiana Department of Wildlife and Fisheries.Damian Haines, an 8-year-old Vidor boy who was on the boat with Dunwoody, was killed in the crash Sunday.Here is Monday’s news release from the Louisiana Department of Wildlife and Fisheries:Louisiana Department of Wildlife and Fisheries (LDWF) enforcement agents are investigating a fatal boating incident that occurred in Calcasieu Parish on Aug. 20.The fatal boating incident claimed the life of Damian Haines, 8, of Vidor, Texas. The incident happened around 5 p.m. on Old Sabine River near Niblett’s Bluff Park.According to the survivors, Eddie L. Dunwoody, 35, of Vidor, Texas, was operating a 19 foot bass boat with a 150 horsepower motor with four other passengers on board while towing a tube with three juvenile boys. He made a turn and the tube swung out striking the bank and ejecting the three boys.Haines was airlifted to the West Calcasieu Cameron Hospital in Sulphur where he was pronounced dead. Another boy was taken by ambulance to St. Elizabeth Hospital in Beaumont, Texas, for treatment of non-life threatening injuries. The other boy on the tube suffered minor injuries and didn’t need any further treatment.LDWF agents arrived on scene and determined that Dunwoody was impaired and he tested over the legal limit for alcohol. Agents also drew blood from Dunwoody for a toxicology test. Agents also determined that Dunwoody was operating the vessel at the time of the incident in a no wake zone.Agents arrested Dunwoody for operating (driving) a vessel while intoxicated (DWI) with child endangerment, vehicular homicide, vehicular negligent injury, reckless operation of a watercraft, and violating a no wake zone and booked him into the Calcasieu Parish Prison.Vehicular homicide brings a $2,000 to $15,000 fine and five to 30 years in prison. Vehicular negligent injury carries up to a $1,000 fine and six months in jail. DWI with child endangerment carries a $300 to $1,000 fine and up to six months in jail with 10 days being mandatory for the first offense. Reckless operation of a vessel carries up to a $200 fine and 90 days in jail. Violating the no wake zone penalties are set by the parish.The LDWF Enforcement Division will be the lead investigative agency for this fatal boating incident.

Source: Vidor man arrested in fatal boating accident which killed 8-year-old boy | KFDM

Walks Into a Bar… Seeing-Eye Dog

A blind man walks into a bar with his seeing-eye dog. He stands in the center of the bar, takes the dog by the chain, and starts swinging him above his head.Everyone stops and stares. Upset about the way the animal is being treated, a patron runs up to the blind man and demands, “What the hell are you doing?”The blind man turns toward the patron and says, “Oh, nothing, just looking around.”

Source: Funny Jokes | Walks Into a Bar… Seeing-Eye Dog Joke | Comedy Central

Off-duty Maryland trooper charged with DUI in crash

CECILTON, Md. (AP) — Maryland State Police say an off-duty trooper has been charged with driving while impaired after he rear-ended a car while driving a state police vehicle.The police agency said in a news release that the crash happened late Sunday in Cecil County, just west of the Delaware border. Authorities say Trooper First Class Tanner Nickerson was driving a state police vehicle when he ran into the back of a car.Officials say the driver of the car and a 10-year-old passenger were treated at a hospital for minor injuries. Nickerson was not hurt.Nickerson is charged with driving under the influence, driving while impaired, failure to control speed to avoid a collision, reckless driving and negligent driving.Nickerson, a 6-year veteran of the agency, was suspended with pay.

Source: Off-duty Maryland trooper charged with DUI in crash | WBFF

Crime Law: Jury found Client Not Guilty of DUI with two prior DUI convictions!

Jury found Client Not Guilty of DUI with two prior DUI convictions!After a three day jury trial, my client was found NOT GUILTY of DUI and driving with blood alcohol concentration over .08.  There were special allegations of two prior DUI convictions.  If found guilty, he could have been subject to 120 days minimum jail and indefinite loss of his driving privileges.The arresting officer testified along with two California Department of Justice experts for the prosecution.  Blood alcohol evidence was presented that my client’s BAC was .10, 45 minutes after arrest.A single defense expert and witness testified for the defense.  Evidence of a Rising Blood Alcohol was presented. Additionally, the court excluded the evidence of a preliminary alcohol test taken in the field because the peace officer failed to inform my client of his right to refuse the test.The jury reached its verdict in just over one hour of deliberations.

Source: Crime Law: Jury found Client Not Guilty of DUI with two prior DUI convictions!