A duck walks into a bar and asks, “Got any grapes?”The bartender, confused, tells the duck no. The duck thanks him and leaves.The next day, the duck returns and asks, “Got any grapes?”Again, the bartender tells him, “No — the bar does not serve grapes, has never served grapes and, furthermore, will never serve grapes.” The duck thanks him and leaves.The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything, the bartender yells, “Listen, duck! This is a bar! We do not serve grapes! If you ask for grapes again, I will nail your stupid duck beak to the bar!”The duck is silent for a moment, and then asks, “Got any nails?”Confused, the bartender says no.”Good!” says the duck. “Got any grapes?”
Hendrix Caje Johnston was driving through Ranchos de Taos on Monday (July 3) when members of New Mexico State Police pulled him over for allegedly speeding and crossing traffic lines. He was initially only charged with DWI, but after a search warrant approved for the driver’s vehicle led to the alleged discovery of narcotics, multiple felony charges were added to Johnston’s rap sheet.
The suspect, whom police have identified as a Taos County resident, was stopped by a state police officer around 4 p.m. while traveling along State Road 68. According to a state police press release, Johnston, 25, “did not pull over immediately” and traveled a short distance before stopping at the side of the road. The release, however, did not specify whether Johnston was confused as to whether his was the vehicle the officer intended to pull over or whether he was in an unsafe area to comply when given the command.
When the officer approached the vehicle, he stated that he could smell a “strong odor” of marijuana that seemed to be coming from within the suspect’s vehicle. Johnston’s eyes were allegedly “red” and he appeared “sluggish,” according to the arresting officer. The suspect admitted to having consumed marijuana, but said that he did so only the day before. He also allegedly admitted to having marijuana inside the vehicle.
He then agreed to take a sobriety test, leading the officer to determine that “Mr. Johnston appeared to be impaired and unable to safely operate the vehicle.” He was immedietely arrested for DWI.
Upon further inspection, the officer said they could see drug paraphernalia in the console of the suspect’s vehicle, which was then towed to the New Mexico State Police office in Taos. A request for a search warrant was approved, leading officers to allegedly discover “containers and bags consistent with the trafficking of narcotics, as well as scales, devices commonly used for the production of narcotics, and other drug paraphernalia.” Police also claimed to have located heroin and methamphetamine, leading to additional drug possession charges – both felonies.
Public Information Officer Elizabeth Armijo stated that officers had performed initial field tests on the suspected narcotics with drug testing kits, “thus giving [probable] cause for those charges,” she said. The drugs, however, have not been submitted to the State Crime Lab for “further, specific testing,” she said.
While the initial tests may have provided probable cause to levy the charges, a failure to send drugs to the lab in a “timely manner” may lead to charges being dismissed. Such was the result in one of Johnston prior cases from 2016. Just this year, the fourth-degree felony drug possession charge stemming from the case was dropped “on the grounds that the drugs in this matter were not sent to the State Crime Lab in a timely fashion,” according to court records. The decision on the matter came less than one month ago: June 14. Prior to the charge, Johnston’s record included only relatively minor traffic violations, according to New Mexico court records.
A Jacksonville High School teacher has been charged with a DWI after she allegedly blew 0.19 over the holiday weekend.Laura Ashley Beard, 26, of Davis Street in Jacksonville was arrested Sunday by the Highway Patrol and charged with driving while impaired and civil revocation of her driver’s license.When the Highway Patrol pulled Beard over on Ramsey Road near Waterstone Lane in Jacksonville at 2:10 a.m., there was a strong odor of alcohol, according to the findings report in the court documents.Beard allegedly admitted to the trooper that she’d drank two beers before driving; she’s accused of having a blood alcohol level of 0.19, according to the breathalyzer test results listed in her court file.Her license is now attached to the inside of her court folder.Beard was set with a $500 bond and court documents stated she could be released to a sober and responsible adult.When asked if she’d like to make a comment, Beard said she wanted to call her boss first. Her lawyer, Bob Warlick, then reached out to The Daily News and said he was advising her not to comment at this time.Beard is listed as a 10th grade English teacher with Jacksonville High School on the school’s website.MORE VIDEO:Earlier today took a visit to Grainger Stadium in Kinston, home of the Down East Wood Ducks.PlayMuteCurrent Time 0:01/Duration Time 0:13Loaded: 0%Progress: 0%FullscreenAutoplay ToggleShe’s an AVID elective teacher who graduated from the high school herself in 2009 and earned her teaching degree at the University of North Carolina at Wilmington, according to the website.“She is a North Carolina Teaching Fellow and is thankful to be working back in Onslow County, especially at the greatest high school in Jacksonville!” according to her teacher’s page on the school’s website.Suzie Ulbrich, the public information officer for Onslow County Schools, said Beard was still an employee of the schools as of late Thursday.“Repercussions vary depending upon circumstances — it can range from a letter of reprimand to termination,” Ulbrich replied when asked about the school’s policies for DWI charges.The policies also require employees to divulge information about an arrest to their supervisor within five days of the incident, Ulbrich said, adding that whether the school knew about the arrest prior to The Daily News asking about it was not a matter of public record.Beard’s next court date is scheduled for Sept. 5, according to N.C. Courts.
In many states, cannabis DUI laws are treated like alcohol DUI laws.But a cannabis DUI and an alcohol DUI should be treated differently for many reasons. One example of their difference is how THC and alcohol levels are metabolized. THC stays in the body for weeks after consuming while alcohol is purged in several hours. Yet the highs last about the same amount of time.Getting pulled over weeks after smoking results in drivers getting charged with a DUI. That’s because it’s difficult for cops to determine how recently a driver smoked a bowl. Traditional sobriety tests don’t correspond to cannabis effects either. For example, a stoned driver can stand on one leg while a drunk driver cannot.Scott Leist was a Seattle police officer, and a defense attorney for the Washington Traffic Defense. Leist agrees that Washington’s Cannabis DUI laws are a problem. In Washington, there is a .08 limit for alcohol and THC, but THC is nothing like alcohol.Leist said, “some studies suggest that driving with moderate levels of THC in one’s system can actually improve driving performance.” There is simply no good science about what determines impaired driving with weed and what doesn’t.THC doesn’t metabolize quickly and completely like alcohol.Leist found that alcohol can metabolize quickly, meaning that it is easy to test when the last time alcohol was consumed. Marijuana is different because a person can consume weed and be impaired for a few hours. But THC stays in the system long after the consumption and high phase.How quickly and completely THC metabolizes depends on a few factors. Namely; how it was consumed and when, how often the person consumes, and the potency of the substance. Small amounts of THC can be found days or even weeks after consumption. At the other end, a heavy consumer can test over the 5ng/mL limit long after they are sober.Alcohol has more exact prediction than weed. What is the marijuana equivalent of two beers? How much THC at what age and weight will get a person to 5ng/mL levels? How fast does THC wear off for each person? Nobody knows the answers to these questions because cannabis research is hampered by federal scheduling. Alcohol has no scheduling restrictions to prevent accurate studies so much more research is available.There are no accurate field sobriety tests for THC intoxication.Police Officers don’t have a lot of experience or training for marijuana DUI detection’s. Smell alone is not a good clue for recent intoxication. Physical signs like red eyes is not enough to prove that a person is THC impaired.There are a variety of reasons a driver might experience the ‘signs of THC intoxication’. A person crying or struggling with allergies causes red eyes. Fatigue can also reproduce the short-term memory issues associated with weed.The best method cops have available is a warrant granted blood test. But blood tests don’t reveal when the last time the driver consumed weed. Unlike alcohol, there is no way to check if a person has had too much THC. There is no breathalyzer that would reveal THC impairment. A person can’t give themselves a field sobriety test like the alcohol tests.Abby McLean drove sober and received a DUI.Northglen, Colorado resident Abby McLean went through a DUI roadside checkpoint on her way home. She is 30, had nothing to drink or smoke that night and had no worries. When the cop walked up to her car he saw that she had blood shot eyes and smelled weed in the car.The cop pulled out his handcuffs to arrests McLean when she exclaimed that she was on her way home to her children. McLean was forced to take a blood test which tested positive for THC intoxication. Her blood test was 5 times over the legal limit. She didn’t go to jail that night but she did go to court. It was a hung jury, but McLean settled for a lesser punishment.Mark Kleiman is a professor of public policy at New York University. Kleiman said, “you can be positive for THC a week after the last time you used cannabis. Not subjectively impaired at all, not impaired at all by any objective measure, but still positive.”It didn’t matter that McLean hadn’t smoked at all that night. If she smoked a week ago, she still got a cannabis DUI. Denver, Colorado’s District Attorney Mitch Morrissey says that Colorado won’t completely throw out the THC blood test. He then explained how it gives courts an extra piece of evidence during trials.How to travel with cannabis in the car.Scientists at UCSD are researching a new generation of cannabis field sobriety tests. One of these tests is called critical tracking. A person moves their finger around a square on a tablet to measure time distortion, because time can slow down when a person is high.
A guy walks into a bar and announces that he can close his eyes and name what kind of alcohol he is drinking and how old it is, just by taste and smell.A drunken guy at the bar says, “I bet I can give you a drink that you can’t name.””You’re on,” replies the guy, “as long as you pay.”So the drunken guy puts a drink on the table. The guy sips it, gags and spits it out. “This tastes like piss!””Yeah,” says the drunken guy, “now guess how old I am.”
WESTFIELD — A captain with the Union County Sheriff’s Department retired just weeks after he was charged with drunk driving.
William Bukowski, 49, allegedly crashed a department SUV into a parked pick-up truck. He was charged with driving while intoxicated and careless driving for the collision at 9:53 p.m. on East Dudley Avenue in Westfield on April 9. The incident sent a previously parked Chevy Colorado careening across a road and onto a front lawn.
At the scene of the crash, Bukowski told police a deer had run into the street in front of his county-owned Chevy Tahoe, causing him to strike the truck to avoid the animal, according to the police report.
“Through the course of the investigation (Bukowski) was determined to be operating the (Tahoe) while impaired due to alcohol,” police said in the report.
Bukowski, of Whitehouse Station, was arrested and later released to a sober adult, officials said.
Bukowski’s attorney, Joseph Spagnoli, said his client has pleaded not guilty to the charges.
The case was transferred from Westfield to Mountainside Municipal Court to avoid a conflict of interest. Westfield municipal court Judge Brenda Coppla Cuba is also the presiding municipal court judge for the county, and as such, presides over first appearances at the Union County jail where sheriff’s officer operate in the court.
A court date is set for July 20.
Union County Sheriff Joseph Cryan, when asked about Bukowski, issued a statement saying his department ‘takes this incident and its potential devastating consequences with extreme concern.”
“First and foremost, we are grateful no one was injured,” Cryan said. “Upon notification of the incident, all proper procedures and protocols were followed. Captain Bukowski never returned to work and retired at the end of June,” he said.
He said all 250 officers in the department were retrained on alcohol awareness for both themselves and what to look for in co-workers.
Juan Eduardo Garcia was booked in the Hidalgo County jail on the afternoon of July 4 on one count of driving while intoxicated and one count of possession of a controlled substance.
He was released later that day on a $7,500 personal recognizance bond, jail records state.
Garcia was stopped by Edinburg Police around 8:50 p.m. Monday at the intersection of Jackson and Trenton Roads.
During the traffic stop Garcia admitted he made a mistake running the red light and had one beer earlier in the day, according to the criminal complaint.
The officer noted that Garcia showed signs of intoxication such as “red blood watery eyes, slurred speech and a strong odor of alcohol.”
Garcia refused to submit to a blood-alcohol level test.
The officer also discovered what appeared to be a white powdery substance on a dollar bill inside his wallet, an allegation Garcia denies.
“I don’t believe they have any substance,” Garcia said in a telephone interview Thursday. “The prescription will hold up.”
The 41-year-old attorney did not elaborate on what the prescription was, however, the substance, which weighed 1 gram, later tested for cocaine, the complaint states.
Garcia has been a licensed lawyer in Texas since 2005 and specializes in criminal defense.
“I’m a little bit disappointed on this whole issue,” he said.
If convicted of the most serious charge, possession of a controlled substance, Garcia faces between two to 10 years in prison.
A man walks into a a bar, drinks a couple of beers, and prepares to leave. The bartender tells him he owes $8.”But I already paid you. Don’t you remember?” says the customer.”OK,” says the bartender, “if you say you paid, then I suppose you did.”The man goes outside and tells the first person he sees that the bartender can’t keep track of whether his customers have paid or not. The second man rushes in, orders a couple beers, and later pulls the same stunt.The barkeep replies, “OK, if you say you paid, then I suppose you did.”The customer goes outside and tells a friend how to get free drinks. The third man hurries into the bar and begins to drink highballs.The bartender leans over and says, “You know, a funny thing happened tonight. Two men were drinking beer, neither paid, and both claimed they had. The next guy who tries that stunt is going to get punched in the — “The man interrupts, “Don’t bother me with your troubles, bartender. Just give me my change and I’ll be on my way.”