Cross Examination of the Arresting Officer

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by Jessica Towne

This is my friend. I like this Cop.
I meet him at the Donut Shop.
I cannot make him look too bad;
I must not, must not make him MAD.
I must not make him mad you see,
We’re working out an arson plea;
It will not help me anyway;
He ALWAYS knows just what to say.

The Prosecutor smirks at me,
“Your gal was DRUNK, you must agree;
“Her guilt is clear. Why look in Books?
“Facts are facts, and
CROOKS are CROOKS!”

Our carefully constructed questions
Are interrupted by objections;
To keep the D.A. in his place,
Show the Judge the perfect case,
And he will overrule with HASTE
And put that scoundrel in his place:
“Sit down! Sit down!
You let her be!”
“She is so very SMART, you see!”

We see them come.
We see them go.
Some are fast.
And some are slow.
Not one of them is like another.
Don’t ask us why.
Go ask your mother.

The cross is now over, this battle is won.
The client is grinning, the D.A. is glum.
The judge is impressed with my style and my knowledge.
(I did graduate from a four-year state college.)

The jurors are beaming, they bought what I said.
The officer’s sitting there, scratching his head.
Now on to the demo, and remember, it’s true:
Do as I say, and
NOT
as
I
do!

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