Immanuel Kant : The chicken, being an autonomous being, chose to cross the road of his own free will.
Nietzsche : Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.
Jean-Paul Sartre : In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.
Cray Chicken: Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don’t dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side fully cooked.
Quantum Logic Chicken: The chicken is distributed probabalistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your course.