SECRETARY CHENEY : Chickens are big-time because they have wings. They could fly if they wanted to. Chickens don’t want to cross the road. They don’t need help crossing the road. In fact, I’m not interested in crossing the road myself.
SENATOR LIEBERMAN : I believe that every chicken has the right to worship their God in their own way. Crossing the road is a spiritual journey and no chicken should be denied the right to cross the road in their own way.
GOVERNOR GEORGE W. BUSH : I don’t believe we need to get the chickens across the road. I say give the road to the chickens and let them decide. The government needs to let go of strangling the chickens so they can get across the road.
VICE PRESIDENT GORE : I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right now. I will not give up on the chickens crossing the road! I will fight for the chickens and I will not disappoint them. Did I mention that I invented roads?
SOUTH FLORIDA VOTER : The chickens were clearly confused as to where the dotted yellow line was leading. The only other option was to cross the line, so they did.
PARMA – A Jeep was found wedged between two houses in Parma Friday night.
Police say the 21-year-old driver was found stuck inside the car in the 6000 block of W. 54th Street.
The driver was found to be under the influence and was removed from the car. He was arrested for OVI.
Police say there was structural damage to one of the homes. At the time of the crash, people were inside both houses, but no one was hurt.