Walks Into a Bar… Double Vodkas

A guy walks into a bar and says to the barman, “Give me six double vodkas.”The barman says, “Wow, you must have had one hell of a day.””Yeah, I just found out my oldest son is gay.”The next day, the same guy comes into the bar and asks for six more double vodkas. When the bartender asks what’s wrong, the man says, “I just found out that my youngest son is gay, too!”On the third day, the guy comes into the bar and orders another six double vodkas. The bartender says, “Jesus! Doesn’t anybody in your family like women?”The man downs the first drink and shakes his head, “Yeah, my wife!”

Source: Funny Jokes | Walks Into a Bar… Double Vodkas Joke | Comedy Central

Walks Into a Bar… Jets Fan

A guy walks into a bar with his pet dog. The bartender says, “No pets allowed.”The man replies, “This is a special dog. Turn on the Jets game and you’ll see. Whenever the Jets score, my dog does flips.”The Jets keep scoring field goals, and the dog keeps flipping and jumping.”Wow! What happens when the Jets score a touchdown?”The man replies, “I don’t know. I’ve only had him for 7 years.”

Source: Funny Jokes | Walks Into a Bar… Jets Fan Joke | Comedy Central

Walks Into a Bar… The Hamster Show

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he’ll give him a free beer for an amazing trick. The bartender agrees. The guy pulls out a hamster that begins dancing and singing.”That is amazing!” says the bartender and gives him a beer.”If I show you something else, will you give me another beer?” The bartender agrees.The guy pulls out a small piano and a frog. The same hamster plays the piano while the frog dances and sings.The bartender, completely wowed, gives him another beer.A man in a suit, who’s been watching the entire time, offers to buy the frog for a large sum, and the man agrees.”Are you nuts?” asks the bartender. “You could’ve made a fortune off that frog.””Can you keep a secret?” asks the man. “The hamster’s a ventriloquist.”

Source: Funny Jokes | Walks Into a Bar… The Hamster Show Joke | Comedy Central

Walks Into a Bar… Gator Bite

A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar and turns to the astonished patrons.”I’ll make you a deal. I’ll open this alligator’s mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He’ll then open his mouth, and I’ll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.”The crowd murmurs their approval. The man stands up on the bar, drops his trousers, and places his privates in the alligator’s open mouth. The gator closes his mouth as the crowd gasps. After a minute, the man grabs a beer bottle and raps the alligator hard on the top its head. The gator opens his mouth, and the man removes his genitals, unscathed, as promised. The crowd cheers, and he receives the first of his free drinks.The man stands up again and makes another offer: “I’ll pay anyone $100 who’s willing to give it a try.”A hush falls over the crowd. A moment later, a hand goes up in the back of the bar.”I’ll try,” says a small woman, “but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle.”

Source: Funny Jokes | Walks Into a Bar… Gator Bite Joke | Comedy Central

Walks Into a Bar… Taxidermy

A Yankee walks into a bar in Alabama and orders a cosmopolitan. The bartender looks at the man and says, “You’re not from ’round here are ya?””No” replies the man, “I’m from New Hampshire.” The bartender looks at him and says, “Well what do you do in New Hampshire?””I’m a taxidermist,” says the man. The bartender looks bewildered, so the man explains, “I mount dead animals.”The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar, “It’s OK, boys! He’s one of us!”

Source: Funny Jokes | Walks Into a Bar… Taxidermy Joke | Comedy Central