Three men walk into a bar. The barman tells them, “If you can sit in my basement for a day, I’ll give you free beer forever.”The first man walks out after five minutes and says, “It’s impossible, you got a swarm of flies in there.”So the second man tries his luck, but can’t take more than an hour.Finally, the third man goes down. When he returns a day later, the others ask him how he did it.He says, “Easy! I took a dump in one corner and sat in the other corner!”
A Red Deer man accused of posing as a lawyer in a fraud scheme is facing a dozen charges.RCMP said in March they began investigating an allegation that a man representing himself as a lawyer was taking money from clients in exchange for preparing legal documents.As the investigation continued, more victims were identified. In all, police have identified nine victims, eight of whom paid for legal services from the accused between December 2016 and April 2017. One of the alleged victims was a process server allegedly hired by the suspect to serve a civil claim.Police said one of the people dealing with the suspect grew suspicious and did not turn over any money.The suspect was operating under the business name SS & Associates LLP.On June 7, police went to the accused’s residence with a warrant and seized electronics and documents relevant to the investigation.Chance Aaron Shaw, 26, has been charged with six counts of trafficking or uttering a forged document, four counts of fraud under $5,000, forgery and false pretenses.He is scheduled to appear in Red Deer provincial court on Friday.Anyone with information about this investigation should contact the Red Deer RCMP at 403-343-5575. If you wish to remain anonymous, call Crime Stoppers at 1-800-222-8477 or report it online at www.tipsubmit.com. If your information leads to an arrest, you could be eligible for a cash reward up to $2,000.The Law Society of Alberta says it maintains an online Lawyer Directory. If an individual’s cannot be found on the directory the law society should be contacted to confirm the person can practise law in Alberta.Anyone with concerns about the unauthorized practice of law should contact the law society at 1-800-661-9003 or go to the website at www.lawsociety.ab.ca.
A dog walks into a bar and hops up on a stool. He looks the bartender in the eye and says, “Hey, guess what? I can talk. Have you ever seen a talking dog before? How about a drink?”The bartender thinks for a moment and says, “Sure, the toilet’s right around the corner.”
A huge guy walks into a bar, approaches a little guy and karate chops him in the back. When the little guy gets up, the huge guy says, “That was a karate chop from Korea.”A little later, the huge guy walks back over to the little guy and karate chops him in the back. The huge guy says, “That was a karate chop from China.”The little guy leaves the bar, comes back and hits the huge guy on the back. The huge guy lies unconscious on the floor. The little guy tells the bartender, “Tell him that was a crowbar from Sears.”
A guy walks into a bar and orders six shooters. The bartender says, “Looks like you are having a bad day.”The guy says, “Am I ever! I woke up late for work. On my way to work, I got in an accident. When I got to work, I was four hours late, so the boss fired me. To top it off, I came home to my wife screwing my best friend.”The bartender says, “What did you say to your wife?”The guy says, “I told her to get out, and I never want to see her again.”The bartender says, “What did you say to your best friend?”The guy says, “BAD DOG!”
Bob and Jim walk into a bar. Bob says, “Hey Donkeyboy, get me a drink.” The bartender gets him a drink.Bob says, “Donkeyboy, get me another drink.” The bartender gets him another drink.Finally, Jim asks the bartender, “Why does he call you Donkeyboy?””I don’t know. Hehaw-hehaw-he always calls me that.”